


Process

by the_void_fox



Series: Keith Week 2016 [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, M/M, Referenced Past Minor Character Death, Sadness, keith is helpful, tiny bit of klance at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 07:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8154206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_void_fox/pseuds/the_void_fox
Summary: Day 3: Red
After a battle goes terribly wrong, Keith takes care of his teammates through the five stages of grief, and must come to terms with a few things himself. Six vignettes on dealing with an irretrievable loss.





	

**Denial**

 

‘I wake up every morning and I tell myself that it didn’t end that way,’ Allura murmurs as Keith sits down on the steps beside her with a quiet sigh. ‘I always know, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I’m wrong. But I don’t stop.’

‘And that’s only natural,’ he replies, angling to face her, ‘it’s part of the process. But it’s unhealthy to stay that way for too long.’  
‘You didn’t grieve?’  
‘Not like the rest of you. I think I went through all five stages so fast that is was just one big burst of emotion. I’m surprised I didn’t send myself mad.’  
‘There wasn’t a lot of time for regrets.’  
‘No. No, there wasn’t.’  


‘Do you have any?’ the Princess asks, tilting her head. Her eyes are wet.  
‘Any what?’  
‘Regrets.’

 

Keith considers this for a moment, brow furrowed. ‘A few.’

 

They’re silent for several ticks, staring out at the planet’s surface. Yz’kira was a beautiful place, turquoise meadows sweeping in the wind and creating the illusion of ocean waves. Keith remembers how Hunk and Lance had been ecstatic at the site of them, and his heart aches, shutting the thought down as quickly as it comes.

 

\---

**Anger**

 

Before – during times when he was witness to Pidge’s formidable temper – he would allow her to tire herself out, let the rage she had taken out on the gladiator drones flicker down to embers, before offering to listen. But Pidge is not showing any signs of slowing down today, and recent events are definitely to blame.

 

Thankfully, he has a backup plan to catch her attention.

 

‘Katie.’

 

She whirls around, and the look in her eyes has him unconsciously leaning back, before her face crumples and she collapses into a storm of incoherent wailing and angry sobs. He hasn’t seen her like this since they narrowly missed out on saving her dad, almost a year ago, and while they have intel that the Holts are still alive out there somewhere, Keith is reminded that Pidge has lost a third someone in her life – and he understands all too well what that kind of pain is like.

 

He kneels next to her and quietly lays a gentle hand on her head as the cries die down, wishing he could apologise for what happened.

 

If he could only find the words.

 

\---

**Bargaining**

 

Hunk. Oh, Hunk.

 

Keith knows exactly where to find him, no need to wander the castle in search. Hunk has spent most of his time in the same room ever since the incident, and while his can-do personality is normally a breath of fresh air in a universe ravaged by war, in this context it is nothing short of heartbreaking.

 

It’s difficult to see the big man like this, his usually steady demeanour replaced with a constantly wrinkled brow and shaking hands as he tries to modify a healing pod. ‘I can fix this. Then… then he’ll be back. Just – just one miracle, surely. Just one. We deserve one, don’t we?’

 

The murmuring cuts off as he notices Keith in the doorway, his shoulders slumping as a tear slips down one brown cheek. ‘I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t, I – I just want to fix this. I’m sure I could… just one miracle…’ He trails off into silence, half-heartedly twisting a pair of wires together, and Keith sighs softly as he sees those strong hands tremble. ‘You can’t keep going like this, big man,’ he soothes, catching Hunk’s attention. ‘I know you haven’t lost anyone before, but it’s not healthy to hold on for too long.’ He laughs sourly, face adorned with a grimace. ‘I would know.’

 

‘I know,’ the yellow paladin replies, voice cracking as the tears fall freely. He has always been the most sensitive, the most compassionate of the group. ‘But I just wish…’

‘It’s okay, Hunk. It’s okay.’

 

\---

**Depression**

 

Coran’s reaction is… strange. The Altean man barely moves from the control room, not even for meals, and says very little to anyone. Even Allura admits that he often loses track of their already-stilted conversations, drifting off somewhere into his memories. Keith isn’t sure how he’s going to deal with this one, but by some stroke of luck, Coran seems entirely prepared to talk to him by the time Keith arrives in the cockpit.

 

‘…I was reminded of another death,’ he begins, Keith silently encouraging him to speak his thoughts. ‘Someone very dear to me. They were slain in a skirmish with a particularly vicious druid and her bodyguards, sacrificing themselves for their friends. I saw the aftermath with my own eyes, too late to rush them to safety.’

 

Coran wipes his eyes with a crumpled handkerchief, staring at a fixed point on the floor. ‘I held them in my arms as they died…’  
‘Who was it?’ Keith whispers softly, reluctant to break the silence.  
‘My son,’ comes the broken admission, and the red paladin sucks in a startled breath as Coran continues. ‘It was so similar… the build, the eyes, the wounds, the blood… all I could see was that awful day…’

 

Keith looks at his feet, the words of comfort dying in his throat.

 

\---

**Acceptance**

 

Talking to Shiro is easier than he thought it would be. Keith knows he’s avoiding the inevitable by going through everyone in a certain order. He knows that Shiro will tell him so, and is fully prepared to deal with emotions this time.

 

But his brother is strangely calm as Keith falls into step at his heel, old habits kicking in despite the fact that the older man is aimlessly wandering around a flying space castle. ‘Hi.’  
‘Hey.’  
‘Busy day?”

Shiro gives an unamused snort.

 

They walk in somewhat-companionable silence before Shiro speaks again. ‘You should talk to him.’  
Keith looks away. ‘I – I can’t…’  
‘It will help. You need closure, and talking to him will get you closer to that.’  
‘But what if it doesn’t?’

 

Shiro stops walking, and Keith looks up into his brother’s face, where he finds only the caring, somewhat worried expression he knows so well. He can’t hold the gaze, and closes his eyes as the soft reply rings in the air.

 

‘You won’t know until you try.’

 

\---

**Keith**

 

This is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

 

He makes his way to the fourth hangar, where Blue lies idle, still grimy from the battle. Her mouth is open, and Keith steps inside after a moment’s hesitation, making his way to the cockpit and leaning against the control panels. ‘Hey, Lance. Shiro convinced me to stop being a wuss and talk to you, and I guess he’s right. So I’m here. I admit I was a bit scared to come.’

 

As expected, there is no reply, and Keith gulps down the rising nervousness in his throat. He didn’t think it would be this difficult. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I just didn’t know what to say.’

The silence is deafening, and he wishes he could cry, but after a few moments there is movement from the hunched figure in the pilot’s chair, and Lance’s tearstained face makes an appearance. ‘Keith… I’m the one who should be apologising, I couldn’t – I didn’t -‘  
‘What- no, no, Lance, you did everything you could,’ the red paladin soothes as he moves to kneel in front of his teammate’s trembling form. ‘You _stayed_. That’s what’s important. You stayed, you didn’t leave me even afterwards. You did so much for me and I am so grateful to you for that.’

 

Lance scrubbed at his face with a shaking hand, meeting Keith’s dark eyes. ‘I loved you, you know that? I loved you so much and there was never any time-‘

 

Keith cuts off his rambling with the best kiss he can manage in their current situation, the barest brush of lips, and maybe this will only make the pain worse, but Lance deserved to know, didn’t he? ‘I loved you too. More than you will ever know.’  
‘…I miss you.’  
‘I’m still here.’  
‘It’s not the same.’

 

Keith sighs as his hologram statics, reminding him that there’s only so much time he can spend outside the projection room. ‘I know.’  
‘I’m sorry,’ Lance sobs, face buried in his hands.

‘… I forgive you,’ and that’s the magic phrase, the tension bleeding out of the blue paladin’s shoulders as he gives Keith a shaky smile. ‘Thank you.’  


‘Goodnight, Lance.’

 

He can just hear Lance’s soft whispered reply as he flickers out.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry.


End file.
